The faster I max this out... A story of Ben's fun times last night!

[Ben 105]

Ah, and what a beautiful night it was. The sun was shining, the birds were shagging outside my window and Ben sat there while his girlfriend was out with the girls having a merry old time!

 

He'd had a long day in work, some people should have to run a competency test before trying to scam a company through a slightly believable situation that absolutely did not match up. No you can't speak to my manager, no you won't be getting any money, yes I am calling you a liar.

 

So I came in, thought ooh it's a nice night I'm motivated! Came on to the forums posted a little bit of helpful information and thought "I'll log on and commit to getting my slayer up a little bit, and while I'm at it get a Vodka and Coke, when in Rome right?"

 

 

 

Wrong.

 

 

 

So I logged in, 60 slayer at Neive, asked for a task and got Bloodvelds, score! Went in and banged that out with my blowpipe and Cannon and had a look at ballista videos to see some decent hits and get excited about blasting other clans with my imaginary cock-rocket that i'll one day probably get.

 

 

Anyway, finished the task came out the cave and saw "Ty" was doing Barb assault, my favourite! Asked if he needed one more but as I did it I asked for another task and got Hellhounds, so I decided to go back in and kill them and then join. Now, after that, "Ty" had inners so I missed my chance to come and help and this is where my night went 0-100, real quick...

 

 

I grabbed another task (Score) and got 16 Black Dragons! Now I came back almost a month ago and I've made a LOT of progress but I've done no bossing on this account and thought "I'm going to go slap the shit out of the KBD" had a little look at guides and was recommended using full Void (Why did I not just think about black hide and black mask (I)?) and since I didn't have DT or LD done I'd have to use the wildy portals to do it. Big mistake.

 

 

Went to a relatively empty world, didn't see anyone, used the portal 9 TIMES, NINE! And not once did it go near KBD. It did however, go to the 50 wildy castle 4 times and the third time landed me right on top of a team with dds' and moonclan gear, some true raggers. That didn't stop me dying though... in full void.

 

 

Oh, and I forgot I didn't have prot item on, goodbye Void Gloves, Void Ranger Helm, 300 Broad Bolts and an Archers ring (I). So disheartened, I trudged back to my least favourite minigame since hungry hippos with sunburn, Pest control.

 

 

Moral of this story, if someone asks you to do some B.A for guaranteed happy times, don't take it upon yourself to pretend you're Bear Grylls exploring the wilderness when you've not been in in years.

 

 

Have a nice day everyone!

[NAYYLMAO 113]

rip

[Iraq 100]

At least you didn't lose full void with 2 helms, seers ring (i) swamp inf boots occult for being a potato at zulrah

[Veng Speeeed 471]

:|

[RobJr 30]

I don't mind PC and my mate helps run a BA clan and offered me a free leech so rip.

[Miltz 1,048]

Ah shit thats unlucky mate! I feel for ya!

[Grabbin 591]

That sucks :/

[Distracts 6]

rip bro, Ill be at pc with you soon haha

[UkYBruv 35]

Fuck that

[Ben 105]

GUYS GUYS GUYS GUYS!

 

 

I completely forgot to mention the last point of what ruined my night! While I was 'Enjoying' my Vodka and Coke, at the same time as getting pked by the raggers and losing my happiness I knocked the fucking thing all over my expensive Corsair Keyboard.

 

 

It was fine for a few minutes and I was just sitting there reconsidering life, wondering whether sacrificing myself to the void or getting it again would be better and whether them Pigeons shagging outside were doing it to the sound of my tears.

 

 

Then, on my other account I was woodcutting on I clicked on a tree since I'd finished chopping and OUT OF FUCKING NOWHERE it starts spamming my email and password! Now that doesn't mean anything really but it would take very little time for someone to piece together what those two separate statements were but I had no idea at this point what was going on.

 

At this point I think I've been hacked by some DDOSing fucboi, assuming it was somehow the group that had pked me, I've got a sticky keyboard and the pigeons are assumedly shagging so hard fuelled from the absolute misery and chaos occurring 2 metres from them.

 

 

Turns out, I log on with my flashy keyboard via a set of extra keys you can macro to something else on the left side, for example G1-18, G7 is my alt's email and G9 is the password gets me on super fast. The coke had gotten into this expensive piece of carbon based shite and the keys were all triggering. I tried to turn the volume down via a smart wheel in the top right corner where the coke had spilled and the down AND up wheel could only turn the volume up! This is 10pm and my fucking computers blasting Real Motherfuckin' G's out the window. By now the pigeons are blasting each other as if I've set up a sex track, there's a woman opposite my house looking round for the noise, my keyboard is telling everyone enough information for me to be scapegoated for the whole of the Panama situation, I'm fuming I've lost so much GP and untradeables and I'm standing there in my boxers trying to sort things out ASAP!

 

 

Anyway, unplugged the keyboard, used my birds Q-tips to clean out the keyboard, plugged it back in and it's just not working. I can't even log on to my computer because it's spamming loads of crap. By this point I'm absolutely about to end someone's life. I end up remembering someone's advice, leave it in rice for a few days, and waste XP? FUCK THAT! I even read a way to sort it by putting it in the oven on 60 degrees for a bit but that wasn't going to happen (I was close).

 

 

Anyway I got the mrs hairdryer and absolutely rattled the keyboard, plugged it back in and prayed to Armadyl that it was working (PBTA) IT WORKED! And back I went to Pest Control, and that was my night. 

 

If you're looking for nominations for best story of 2016 etc... ^

[Nunslapper 68]

! Y'know in the U.K. we write the most books/stories than any other country in the world and we're small so per person it's even more . You live up to the legend .